(Subtitled “A Handy Guide to This Complete Shambles of a Blog” or, alternatively, “Confused? You Will Be!” Part 1. Part 2 is here)

Note: This is a “work in progress” that may be modified, amended, changed, enlarged, shortened, hacked about or otherwise rendered incomprehensible. Or even deleted entirely. Without any warning whatsoever. So… er… be warned! All depends on how the mood takes me. Or how much abuse I receive!

In the course of knocking out posts for this ’ere blog I appear to have developed certain particular usages of my own, with very specific meanings. Regular visitors here will likely have become familiar with them and know precisely to what (or whom!) I am referring. The casual or new visitor may however be left somewhat bemused.

So it occurred to me that, for their benefit, a sort of “glossary” may prove a bit useful. Informative at least. And here we are. Not quite as many entries as I thought there’d be but no doubt it will be expanded over time.

Amber Nectar
Whisky… of course. Generally a single malt. Could be whiskey though. The addition of the “e” in the spelling (an accepted usage in the licensed trade) denotes Irish whiskey. But whether it be from Scotland or Ireland it’s a drink for which, over the years, I’ve developed something of a fondness. Truth to tell, something of an overfondness. Such that for the past year or so I’ve been rationing myself somewhat… principally just using it to spice up my coffee (see entry for “Special Coffee”). Which helps the pocket also because if I’m splashing it into coffee than I don’t need to fork out for any of the pricier brands. And with all the money I save I can… er… save it and buy a decent bottle occasionally! It’s a win-win situation really.
Aberlour single malt whisky P1030483

Not, as you may think, “proper” ground coffee. I prefer the instant variety. Can’t understand why people like all that ground-up muck… far too bitter, and leaves bits in your mouth. Yucch! More on this here.
Coffee time! _G102988

Invariably used with a qualifier, thusly: him#1, him#2, or him#3 etc. Used to identify certain so-called “mates” (see entry for “Mates”). Yeah. Right. Anyway, this particular term first surfaced here. And here the sorry bunch are…
Irchester Country Park _G103966

A term that can be considered offensive and is not really politically correct. Which is of course why I’ve employed it for it provides me with yet another opportunity to thumb my nose at the entire politically correct crowd… a pastime I enjoy immensely. One dictionary defines it as…

A person of profound mental retardation having a mental age below three years and generally being unable to learn connected speech or guard against common dangers. The term belongs to a classification system no longer in use and is now considered offensive.

That is not of course the manner in which I use it… hmm… “learn connected speech”? “Guard against common dangers”? On second thoughts…
Anyway, it’s a term that uglymug and I (see entry for “Uglymug”) have used for many years now to describe ourselves. A description confirmed by public opinion, for when those that know us see us hanging around together (which we tend to do rather more often than is comfortable) we may well be described as “that right pair of idiots”.
Meanwhile, back at The Bear _G105751

Infernal Machine
Any sort of computer. Not a specific computer but pretty much anything that vaguely qualifies. “Infernal” because… well, I’m utterly convinced they’re the spawn of the Devil. Diabolical certainly. And they’re all out to get me!

A particular class of people with whom I seem to hang around rather more than is warranted by my none-too-successful persona of an antisocial miserable ol’ codger. Not completely certain why I refer to them as “mates” for the driving force behind this… er… “relationship” appears to be a sort of underlying sneaky mutual maliciousness. But then, if you can’t be nasty to mates, who can you be nasty to?
Stanwick Lakes _G104151

Norfolk Oaf
See entry for “Uglymug”.

Special Coffee
Coffee with an additive. Generally whisky. Though it could be whiskey (see entry for “Amber Nectar”). I’m fairly sure the combination of caffeine and alcohol in the quantities I tend to consume would be regarded by some as a major health hazard. They’re probably right.
Coffee! P1040142

A person with whom, unfortunately, I seem to spend far more time than is comfortable. A somewhat unwholesome character that its been my misfortune to know for rather more years than I care to remember. Also referred to by the terms “him#1” (see entry for “Him#”) and, when I’m feeling more benevolently disposed, “mate”. Though that word’s generally within quotes to indicate the somewhat dubious nature of the description. Also occasionally referred to as “that Norfolk oaf” (or sometimes “that Nordic oaf” cos I get confused with the Nor’s)… and similar expressions. Uglymug can very often be found lurking here.
A November walk in rural Bedfordshire _G100769

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Page last updated 08 September 2010 @ 02:59hrs