Scared the living daylights out of me it did

Damn technology, I bloody hate it!

Logitech headset for skype P1030578

Supposed to have attended a meeting today. All sort of discreet and private-like so I ain’t gonna say anything about it so there’s no point in asking.

Anyway, as the day of the meeting (i.e., today) edges closer so there’s murmurings that maybe not all the people that we’d like to be there are going to be there.
Numbers sufficiently reduced in fact as to warrant cancelling it completely.
Which would be a bit of a bugger cos at great expense to myself I’d cleared a load of space in my schedule precisely to attend said meeting.

Hmm. Not good.

However, some bright spark suggests that if things don’t go quite as planned those few of us who are still up for it could have it via a sort of “online conference”, courtesy of skype.

Logitech headset for skype P1030583

Now I’ve heard of this skype thingie before. In fact, not too long after it was first properly rolled out a mate of mine conned me into opening an account.
Which, co-operative little soul that I am, I did. Even went as far as installing the app on the machine I was using at the time (a fairly antiquated desktop PC with no bells or whistles whatsoever).

Snag was, seems a microphone or something was required. And I didn’t have one. Not then. And couldn’t really be asked to get one. Cos I wasn’t terribly enthusiastic about that whole skype nonsense anyway.
Far too many new-fangled ideas and technology… and most of ’em seem to involve communicating with people. In real-time! Ugh! Not my scene at all. Its so… er… intrusive. And now. Interfering with my slobbing around.
So uninstall the app and… um… that was about it basically.

Now, that was some time ago. Years in fact.

Fast forward to Saturday then.

“Well,” thinks I, “if we’re gonna be using this skype thingie I’ll be needing a microphone; and I’ll have to reinstall the app; and see if the account I set up ages ago is still active as it were. Bugger.”

So that’s what I did. Dive into town and scurry around looking for a suitable bit of kit. (That was a journey I could have done without as well. Far too time-consuming.) What I end up with is this ’ere skype headset.
Not, actually. In fact its a Logitech headset. But suitable for use with skype. Certified, no less. (As some folk reckon I should have been, ages ago!)

Logitech headset for skype P1030569

Scurry back home again then and set about downloading and installing the skype app. After the infernal machine had chuntered its way through umpteen million updates for virtually every app already on the sodding thing (and some that I’m sure weren’t!)… cos I hadn’t switched that particular one on for at least a month!

So, app installed (finally) and now to check if my old skype account’s still floating about somewhere in cyberspace and also to make sure this fancy headset (basically bog-standard headphones with a wee microphone attached) does the biz.

Logitech headset for skype P1030571

Yep, account’s still there. Headset seems to work fine. Quite nifty in fact. Neat. Best I check out a few of the other options then.

Hmm. What’s this? Video?!!!

Now I’m not a complete thicko, surprising as that may be. I do know that some of my various laptops have a webcam thingie built into the lid. Yep, I definitely do know this. And the infernal machine on which I choose to install skype just happens to be one of those.
Not a particularly good webcam, but a webcam nevertheless.
In fact, its a fairly crap webcam. And certainly not on a par with a proper camera, like wot I use. But its still a webcam. Wot you can do those stupid video clips with that everyone and their uncle seem to upload incessantly to YouTube.

Thing is though, I don’t actually like webcams very much. Not at all actually. Not the idea of them. Nasty intrusive things. Unwarranted invasion of privacy sort of.
So I’ve never bothered with it. Never even tested it out. Didn’t even know whether the damned thing worked or not, or how it worked. Didn’t much care either.
In fact, I’d pretty much forgotten it was there.

Ah, but now we have skype. And we have me tinkering around with the options. And we have me looking at this video control thingie and wondering what the hell its for. And we have me clicking it just to find out. Bloody, bloody idiot.

For suddenly there’s this evil-looking psycho peering out at me. Real nasty-looking piece of work. Damn near scared the living daylights out of me right proper it did!

What I wanna know is, what’s he doing living in my machine anyway? He’s probably the bastard who sabotages everything. Makes everything stop working as it should and fills the machine up with a load of crap… like programs and stuff. Wouldn’t surprise me if he’s in my other machines as well [shudder]. It would certainly account for all the strange things that happen to them.

[Edit 26.04.10 2010hrs: Like typos. I’ve just spotted another one! No doubt he puts them in when I’m not looking]

About fotdmike

Occasional photographer; occasional writer/blogger; occasional activist; occasional computer-geek. Bit of a fool really.
This entry was posted in Adventures, Kit, Photography Chat and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Scared the living daylights out of me it did

  1. fotddarren says:

    Aah!…oh jesus, did you have to put that pic at the end it’s bloody horrible.
    So you’re all skyped up then, I’ve never bothered with it meself (mainly cos I don’t like talking to people).
    Who would wanna talk to me anyway?

    • fotdmike says:

      You’re right. Its ‘orrible. Just imagine the effect it had on me when it popped up all unannounced and sudden-like on the screen! Enough to make me drop me fag it was. I’m still recovering from the shock in fact.

      And skype. Yeah, I know. Sad, innit? Never fear though, the reason its on that machine is I’ll hardly ever switch the damn thing on. Heh heh.

      And talking to people? Well, you can stuff that for a lark. Keep ’em all at arm’s length is what I say. Cos people mainly are just not right! In the head, sort of thing.
      Hell, isn’t that why we have these infernal machines in the first place? To help keep us away from people?

      (Btw, I certainly don’t wanna talk to you! I still have bad memories of those stupid instant messengers we messed around with!)

  2. technogran says:

    This post really made me laugh! Your not into technical stuff then I take it?

  3. David says:

    OH you scared the living daylights out of me with that picture at the end, you should have stucka warning at the beginning of the blog post that it contained images (or an image) that is likely to cause distress.

    • fotdmike says:

      Yeah. In retrospect I definitely think some sort of health warning would have been in order.
      But then again, why deprive folk of the same shock I had when it suddenly popped up on the laptop screen?

      Heh heh

  4. forkboy says:

    I’m contacting Health and Safety at this very moment.

    Oh….so…. when do we start video chatting? I’m ready to go! I know you’ll love it….

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