Where are you, you scumbag? Just you bloody wait ’til I get my hands on you, you nasty slimy conniving piece of work!
You can forget all about my having clouted you with a lump hammer; having dropped an iron bath on you; having poisoned you with apis mel; having concussed you with a roll of sellotape (er… sellotape?).
That was all just games. This time its gonna be for real!
Look what you’ve gone and done to me… sodding black and white, black and white, black and white. I’ve got the damn things coming out me ears!
And can I stop taking them? Can I hell! I’m now even catching myself going out at stupid o’ clock in the morning in the freezing cold to get more!
All that fresh new battery power and lovely card space being squandered on what? Black and white rubbish. That’s what!
Oh, you’ve got a lot to answer for you have. If it hadn’t been for you I’d still be quite happily shooting away in colour, not a care in the world and with no time at all for that bloody stupid retro artsy black and white crap.
But there’s some weird thing about it that I do so like.
You’ve tainted me!
And now my Flickr stream’s infested by it. Its all over the sodding place and spreading like some ’orrible pestilence.
Curse your hide!
Just you wait ’til I get my hands on you… grrr!